Sasami's Little Secret
by The Masked Hentai
Summary: Not to be confused with the similarly-titled fic by TankCop.


Sasami's Little Secret (Not affiliated with the fic by TankCop)  
  
A Tenchi Muyo! Ryo-ohki fanfic by The Masked Hentai  
  
---  
  
There was nothing that Tenchi liked better than his morning bath. Except for breakfast. And water-skiing. And "Zatoichi" movies. And the occasional illicit carnal interlude with some of the alien women in his life.  
  
Nevertheless, he did dearly love the sybaritic pleasures of bathing in the luxury of the floating onsen.  
  
Tenchi lay back in the almost uncomfortably hot water in a state of exquisite idleness. He turned his mind to the thoughts a normal young man of his age might have (with optional manual action).  
  
"Ohh...Ryoko. Ahh...Ayeka. Mmm...Mihoshi. Oooh...Sasami."  
  
Sasami?  
  
Where did that come from?  
  
Tenchi tested his mind's eye. Yup, no doubt about it. There she was. Sasami.  
  
For a few moments Tenchi pondered the profound ethical/moral implications of the possiblity that he was fantasizing about a girl many years his junior...well...physically at least. (INSERT BORING EXPOSITION ABOUT TIME SPENT IN STASIS AND JURAIAN LIFESPANS HERE.)  
  
These thoughts so absorbed him that it took more than half a minute before he realized he wasn't looking at Sasami with his mind's eye...he saw her with his physical eyes. Sasami...in the onsen. With him. She obviously hadn't seen him, because she was taking off her bathrobe (or for the more anal-retentive, `yukata.')  
  
Tenchi yelled "Stop!" at a critical moment. Too late for Sasami to avoid taking off her robe...but in time for her to recover quickly and hide herself.  
  
"T-Tenchi! I didn't know you were in here...I'm sorry."  
  
"Uh...that's okay. I'm just leaving." Seeing the girl had her back resolutely turned to him, Tenchi leaped out of the water, grabbed his shorts and pants, and pulled them on without stopping to dry. Embarrassment to the point of mortification can do that to a person.  
  
Minutes later, the tortoise-like workings of Tenchi's mind pointed out an observation that was to haunt him heavily for some time to come. When Sasami was taking off her robe...for a second there...  
  
...it looked like she had a penis.  
  
* * *  
  
Tenchi's room was locked. True, that was little security from a demon who phases through matter, and the other ridiculously-powered anime heroines who he lived with, but it was enough to give him a little illusion orsecurity at least.   
  
He picked up a writing tablet and pencil from his desk and sat down on his bed.  
  
`Possibility one,' he wrote, `I may have been seeing things.'  
  
Tenchi hoped this was correct. Oh how he hoped this was correct. But, he had excellent vision. And while he was no expert on biology or human anatomy, he was able to recognize the particular organ in question (a personal favorite of his, as it happens...his own, that is).  
  
`Possibility two - Juraians are different from humans biologically.'  
  
He felt ambivalent about this possibility. While it would nicely explain why Sasami had...the thing she had...the thought made him feel kind of creepy.  
  
`Possibility three - Sasami is undergoing gender reassignment.'  
  
Okay, this one was ridiculous enough to reject outright. Tenchi scratched it out.  
  
`Possibility four - Sasami is a boy.'  
  
"Boys don't wear girl's clothes. Boys don't have girl's names. Boys don't act like girls in every way like Sasami does."  
  
On the other hand, the more critical part of his brain was telling him, girls rarely possess `willies.'  
  
So what was the next step...ask the most intelligent inhabitant of the house, Washu?  
  
Tenchi briefly imagined what that conversation might be like.  
  
Washu sneering at him, wearing full-blown Lolicon garb: "Oh, so you're interested in little girls, are you? Why don't *I* rate, then?"  
  
There's no way he could ask her about Sasami.  
  
"Ooh, so you like the idea of hermaphrodites, huh Tenchi? Well I know just the thing to ring your bell..."  
  
No freaking way in hell.  
  
* * *  
  
Tenchi waited.  
  
Any minute now she'd probably be getting into the baths. And he'd know for sure.  
  
He felt a little sick and disgusted at himself for violating her privacy, but this problem was eating at him, and this was not a problem that could be answered by anyone in the house. To even ask the question ran the risk of having him locked away for a quick trip to the local psychiatric institution, or worse, Washu's lab.  
  
He tried many other ways to find out. The old "mirror on the shoes" revealed nothing...it wouldn't when the skirt on her outfit almost reached the floor.  
  
There were many gambits that he had considered involved something like "pretend your tripping, and as you fall, land on her and try to determine through `accidental' physical contact what she keeps in her BVD's." He rejected them all because they all sounded too much like something Amagasaki would do.  
  
So he went the route of modern technology. Spy cameras in place (Thank you for your popup ads, X10 Corporation!). Computer on. Ready to view.  
  
Nothing.  
  
"So...Tenchi...what are you trying to look at?" It was Nobuyuki, behind him.  
  
"Dad!" Tenchi's voice squeaked up a couple octaves higher than usual.  
  
Nobuyuki shook his head sadly. "Son, son, son. I'm really disappointed. Remote control cameras? That's just pathetic."  
  
For lack of anything else to do, Tenchi hung his head in shame.  
  
"If you're going to peep, do it in person. And take pictures with a good 35MM camera, or at least a digicam with 2 megapixels. You think you can get pictures worth saving with a piece of junk like this?" Nobuyuki brandished Tenchi's secretly ordered camera.  
  
"DAAAAD! I wasn't interested in taking pictures. There was just something I wanted to see."  
  
"You wanted to check Mihoshi for tattoos? I've thought the same thing myself..."  
  
"NO! I need to check Sas..." Tenchi halted himself just three letters too late.  
  
"SASAMI?" For once in his life (there's a first time for everything), Nobuyuki felt moral outrage. "Now son, this is why I worry about you being too sexually repressed--the first time you go for something, you go for something WAY out of bounds.   
  
Well I'm putting my foot down right now and..."  
  
Tenchi. Was being lectured. About sexual normalcy. By his father. His FATHER for crying out loud.  
  
"Maybe I should have asked Washu after all," he mumbled.  
  
* * *  
  
Tenchi staggered towards his bedroom. As if the lecture wasn't enough, his father had even assigned him HOMEWORK as a punishment. And what homework. "Read the June through November issues of Playboy, and write a book review for each. 500 words per review. Look sharp."  
  
He waited by the bathroom for a moment. He needed to go, but it was occupied. Just a few seconds later, he heard a flush, followed by the sound of someone washing her hands.  
  
The door slid open to reveal Sasami. "Oh hi, Tenchi, were you waiting?"  
  
Tenchi mumbled something affirmative then stumbled inside. He leaned over to lift up the toilet seat when he noticed it.  
  
The seat was already up. Sasami was in the bathroom...and had used the toilet...and the seat was still up.  
  
There it was. The perfect evidence. Evidence that would stand up in a court of law: after all, it was widely known that while men never put the toilet seat down, the opposite is also true.  
  
Tenchi leaped out of the bathroom and pointed at Sasami. "Sasami, J`ACCUSE!" he yelled.  
  
Sasami pointed to herself. "Me?"  
  
Tenchi nodded. "You. You, sasami. You're really a boy, aren't you?"  
  
Sasami looked horrified at first, then resigned. "Yes. You know. I won't lie to you. I am."  
  
"But...why?"  
  
Sasami looked around. "C-can we talk somewhere else? I know you've figured it out, but I still want to keep it a bit of a secret. Come into my room, okay?"  
  
Tenchi nodded again and followed her.  
  
* * *  
  
"Tenchi...I've always dressed like a girl. My whole life. From the day I was born up until today...and probably tomorrow and the next day...I've been Princess Sasami."  
  
"But...for what reason?"  
  
"You see, Tenchi, there's a tradition in the royal family. When the King has two Queens, only the first queen can bear an heir. The second queen is only allowed to bear girls, so that there are no challenges to the throne. In ancient tradition, sons of the second queen were put to death, but later on, they were just given up for adoption on distant colony planets or something."  
  
"But your mother didn't want to give you up."  
  
"No. From what I'm told, when I was born, after the doctor said, `It's a boy!', Mommy said `No, it's no, it's a girl.' And one of the nurses said `It's a miracle! A girl with a penis!.'"  
  
Tenchi almost fell on his face at this.  
  
"So anyway, I've always been raised as a girl. Mommy taught me to be very careful and not let other people see me with no clothes on, and I've been pretty good at it. And I make a pretty good girl, I think."  
  
Tenchi smiled wryly. "Yeah, you did. You still do."  
  
Something occurred to him.  
  
"Wait...Ayeka...is she?"  
  
Sasami grinned. "Yeah, Ayeka's a boy, too."  
  
Tenchi pondered this for a moment.  
  
"So that's why she likes it up the..."  
  
END  
  
---  
  
Thanks to MaryRN51 for the really really evil inspiration...  
  
(TMH): So I've turned Ayeka into a suicidal maniac, Tenchi and Ryoko into demented sadists...what can I do to Sasami?  
(MaryRN51): She's cigar-smoking, heroin shooting, prostitute midget.  
(TMH): MaryRN51: Nah, I want to be original.  
(MaryRN51): rimshot!  
(TMH): ^_^  
(MaryRN51): She's really a boy, her mother is suffering under the delusion she's a girl and dresses her funny.  
(TMH): ...  
(TMH): ...  
(TMH): ...  
(TMH): Can I use that?  
(MaryRN51): Sure!  
(MaryRN51): I, Koshi Rikdo, do hearby give The_Masked_Hentai permission to give Sasami a wee-wee.  
Thanks to Evil Asian Genius for the idea about the second Queen only being allowed to bear daughters.  
  
The final line of the fic was composed by the inimitable Rowsdower for his brilliant "Shift Error."  
  
I apologize for the totally gratuitous use of the word "sybaritic."  
  
The_Masked_Hentai@hotmail.com 


End file.
